Yesterday, I wrote the first real post on my new platform, where I hope to cover some really deep issues, and man, was it hard. Leading up to this, I had made mental notes of several articles I wanted to write. In my mind, I had this endless stream of things I wanted to say. However, yesterday I could not wrap my mind around a coherent thought when faced with the prospect of a blank page. I couldn’t string two sentences together. It was miserable. It felt like I was carving the article out of stone.
So, what causes the blocks? Is it me? Too much emotion? Too much to say, and I don’t know where to start? Maybe. It also felt like something actively opposed me—a living and intentional roadblock. This isn’t the first time I’ve experienced this feeling.
Making Great Plans
It happened last year, and I could not see it until I was 8 weeks in the hole. I had this big mid-year strategy session where I set a new direction for where I wanted to take the company. I wanted to get a podcast up and running. I said I wanted to make another stab at email marketing. I had it all planned out. To make it official, I wrote everything on one of those giant easel-size sticky notes and put it on the wall. I wrote the date on the top - July 14. These plans didn’t last 24 hours.
Interruption 1
A buddy of mine pops into the office with some great news. Turns out the guy we’ve done business with in the past wants our help to launch a new business, and he already has funding. Lots of funding! “Can we all meet at your office tomorrow?” I couldn’t believe my luck. All these years of networking, paying my dues, and hitting my delivery dates were about to pay off. It turned into a multi-month disaster that I will write about some other time.
When I extracted myself from the mess and came up for air, I could not believe the timing of my great planning session and the even greater interruption. The timing seems to be too ironic to be a mere coincidence.
A Second Try with Great Intentions
The great interruption happened again at the start of this year. New year. New goals. More focus. I put starting a new podcast on the list of new things I wanted to tackle. I also wanted to start writing more. I think I have about 11 days of written entries in my journal. Some days were better than others. I wrote each night after work while sitting at the bowling alley (long story). In all, I wrote about 4000 words. Not a bad start, but that’s where it ended. That was four months ago. I stopped writing, and the podcast never got off the ground. Instead, all my energy went into the strangest client engagement I have ever worked.
Interruption 2
I found myself wrapped up in a website project that was the largest project management debacle in my career. The scope just kept expanding and expanding. We also had tech issues. Strange things. Explainable, but still strange. I’ve been developing websites for 20 years and never had anything happen like this. Ever. Sure, there are plenty of things I would have done differently. I should have known better than to allow the scope to creep and creep. Project Management 101 says I should have kept this under control. Now that the project is over, I can reclaim my evenings and weekends. I am getting some much-needed perspective.
Sense Making
What in the world just happened? I had all these great plans for the year. I made a few steps forward, got sucked into a time vacuum, and now we’re almost 6 months into the year. Why is it that every time I get close to writing, public speaking, or podcasting, something in my professional life blows up? This isn’t limited to the past 6 months. I could tell you 20 years of stories like this. Is it all just a coincidence? Time management experts call this “the whirlwind,” where all your good intentions go to die. Do I throw all my false starts into the “life happens” bucket and move on, or is something deeper happening here?
What about you? When you make a move toward life, calling, a better job, or a more fulfilling role, are you able to make the move with ease? Instead, does it feel like there is some force set against you?