It’s taken me a long time to write this—mostly because I was embarrassed by how naive I was. But if we’re going to talk about hearing from God, I need to be honest about how it all started.
I was in my early 30’s and desperately wanted to start my own business. I had been dancing around this issue for quite some time. My dad had a business when he was my age. My uncle had started a business. My grandfather even had a successful restaurant back in his time.
It seemed I was destined to have my own thing.
Several problems, though.
I had no idea what I wanted to do.
I wasn’t rolling in money.
Not exactly a formula for whopping success.
I was deeply frustrated with my career. I had a great thing going right out of college. An engineering job. Promoted to management at a very young age. What I didn’t know at the time is that this company had about 4 years before its expiration date. Again, in my eagerness, I decided this pond wasn’t big enough, so I left for a larger company. The new company (let’s call it company B) was great and many people spent their entire careers here, but I felt like a fish out of water. It didn’t take long for me to realize coming here was a mistake, but, in retrospect, there wasn’t much of a future in staying at my old company.
In leaving company A and going to company B, I followed what I call the “open door” answer to prayer. If God opened the door, well, that must be an answer to my prayer.
Looking back, I put way too much stock in my “open door” theology—as if every job offer was automatically God’s will. But I didn’t know that yet. I was just trying to make the best decision I could with the tools I had.
So, I prayed God would open a door, He did, and I walked through it. Jobs weren’t easy to come by. Simply receiving a job offer from Company B was proof enough that God was in this.
Now, here I am almost 3 years later. I’ve been miserable in the larger company — the very opportunity I asked God to give me — and I was looking for my next gig. I didn’t quite know how to interpret what had happened.
In Company A, I was well-liked by management, given opportunities, and recognized. It was great. None of that existed here at Company B. Where did I go wrong? I asked for this. God gave it to me. My career was in a tailspin, though. I could not make sense of it, but I knew I didn’t want to repeat my mistakes on this next jump. This next move had to work because I needed to make up for a lot of lost time.
This time things were going to be different. Being self-employed means I get to call the shots. I get to decide who I work with, when I am going to work, and how much I am going to make. Being self-employed means everything is going to be better.
If you aren’t rolling your eyes at my 30-something cluelessness, feel free.
I knew leaving a perfectly good job to be self-employed was a huge jump, and I needed God’s provision for things to work. I started praying like I had never prayed before. I started seeking advice from people I trusted. I read books on starting a business. I took all this very seriously. I was praying hard, obsessing over details, and trying not to repeat my mistakes. I desperately needed God to speak, and the answer finally came.
My wife and I were sitting in church one Sunday when the pastor spoke words that hit me like a ton of bricks. It was one of those moments — maybe you’ve had them, too — when it feels like it was written just for you. Well, I had one of those moments, and it felt like God was speaking directly to me.
Several weeks before this moment, a family member came to me and my wife with an opportunity. It would pave the way for me to own my own business. It would require selling our existing home and relocating. My wife would need to leave her job and find a new one, which is a lot to ask of a spouse. I would need to leave my corporate job with good pay and generous benefits for a significant pay cut and no guarantees whatsoever.
When I sat through the service where God spoke to me through the pastor, I knew I had received my answer. God was giving this venture his blessing. Leaving my job was the right thing to do. Making the move was the right thing to do. Everything was going to work out.
In the evangelical circles, I traveled in those days, there were a ton of stories about people “believing in God for a miracle.” I heard stories in church and from pastors on the radio. It seemed you couldn’t go anywhere without hearing that believing in God’s provision was the path to making everything work in your life. Take risk. Lean on God. He’s there for you. I longed to have this kind of faith. I wanted to have my miracle. Not only for me but for my wife and family, should we choose to start one.
It was finally happening to me. I get to be the one receiving a miracle. God heard me. God is rescuing me from a difficult work environment. God is giving me the dream I had prayed to receive. It was my time. We listed our house for sale, my wife and I gave our 2-weeks notice, and we started packing boxes.
Of course, you know what happens next — everything went sideways. I’ll save the rest of the story for another time, but let me cut to the chase.
In praying for God’s provision and receiving his approval, I had this naive idea that…
Following God’s call would lead to good things.
My calling would actually work and bear fruit.
My life would improve.
I would feel closer to God.
I would make more money.
Here’s what I have learned since, and believe me when I say I have come by these lessons through the school of hard knocks. When following God and His call on your life…
All hell will come for you the moment you step toward your calling.
You probably won’t get it right the first few tries.
Following God doesn’t guarantee clarity, comfort, or cash flow.
I will try my best to weave these lessons into all my future writings here on this blog. I’ve learned a ton, and I am eager to share it.
I have many more stories to tell—stories of the fallout, the slow rebuilding, and how God showed up in ways I never expected. I hope you’ll stick around for all of it.
If you have read this far, chances are pretty good that you’ve also had some false starts with God. I’d love for you to reach out to me with your stories. I can’t wait to hear them.